Messed Up.

This will be a good week I hope. There was already one snow day. And tomorrow is a two hour delay already, with a good chance there will be a cancellation. I hope there is one. I don't want to go to school. My best friend and I had a falling out. We used to date. I told him everything. Him and my 5 year old cousin were the most important people in my life. But I screwed up. Bad. And I was called out on it. And no matter how much I say sorry It will never make a difference. I will always be paying for this one. I just lost my best friend. He actually told me never to talk to him again. I am heartbroken. There will never be someone that will be able to take his place. I will never trust anyone as much as I trusted him...I miss him so much already.

To be honest, though. I don't blame him at all for not wanting to be my friend anymore. I don't deserve him as a friend. He has always been there for me, and I took advantage of that. I thought that no matter what I did he would never leave me. I will straight up admit that I treated him like crap. I started fights just to make sure that he still cared. I said things I shouldn't have just because I was in a bad mood. I was a horrible friend. He was an amazing one though. I will forever be grateful for all he did for me. He listened to me complain everyday about how bad my life is...and the thing is, my life really isn't that bad. Sure, I have a couple people who treat me like shit, problems with my family, and a couple rumors being said about me. But it is high school. What else can I expect...I guess what I'm trying to say is, to all of you reading this. Don't take your friends for granted. Especially the ones you lean on just to be okay. Because once they're gone you will be a mess. I know I am.

So, I have always been a fan of Lifetime movies. Of course I'm watching pregnancy pact as a result. Remind me never to get pregnant in high school. Ugh. I feel so bad for these girls. They are so stupid.

I am also making a short film with my friend Michelle. We are making a video about embracing your flaws. We're having people write down their flaws or something that states that they love themselves and filming them. We will also be interviewing people about embracing flaws. I'm really super pumped. It will be awesome.

I made a video today too. I was actually so bored that I set up a camera in my room and made a video of me cleaning my room. Something that took one whole hour was then shortened to four and a half minutes and set to an *NSYNC song. I was so proud of myself. Go watch it. :)

Quote of the day--
The best and most beautiful things can not be seen or even touched-- you have to feel them with your heart. -Helen Keller.
She was so wise.

:)justlovelife.